Cheers To Taking Your Power Back

 Homegirl, are you a powerful woman? If you answered yes, what makes you powerful? If you answered no, why don’t you believe you are? Whether you are in your power or not, I want to offer you four rules for taking your power back and owning your life. Now, if you are true to Heal Thy Homegirl, you know I will be using some of my story to elevate this message. Before healing, I for sure thought I was powerful. I had a slick mouth. I could back you in a corner and cut you deep with my words. I did what I had to do, showing no emotion. Getting to it. I am physically strong, and I know how to fight. I was a pit bull off the leash if need be. Fast forward, healing taught me, a lot of my power was rooted in survival. This also claimed so much of my femininty, but that’s a story for another blog. Without any further ado, let’s dive into you taking your power back.

From the perspective of a healing woman:

Rule #1 Know Who You Are

Girlies, this is a tough one right here. It is not easy (especially, in this world), to know who you are. From the moment we are born, we are influenced and programmed to be what the world needs us to be. What our families, friends, environments, teachers, media, etc., shows us. When we don’t have a firm internal belief and foundation, it is easy to be swept this way, that way, all the ways. I see it all the time with teenagers. They have been under the rule of their parents. As soon as they break out into the world, they try to find a sense of who they are. I see it on social media. So many are constantly changing who they are, their beliefs, their direction in life, based off trends, status, filters and photoshop. However, when you know who you are, none of this matters. You can be in a room full of people and stand firm in your identity. Your differences don’t make you less than. Your perspective is yours. The way you dress is an expression of yourself. Your walk, your talk, your entire being is a projection of your internal knowing of yourself. What we see, is you. Not her, her and who he believes you should be. A powerful woman knows who she is, and she is confident in herself.

Rule #2 Set That Boundary Girl

Set the boundary and keep on setting it. Now, let’s be clear, boundaries are not easy to set. Especially in these trenches where you can be manipulated, gaslit, ghosted, cut off, made out to be the villain, all because you demand some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Therefore, setting boundaries and standing on them is a power move. It isn’t for the weak, girl. I remember hearing about boundaries about five years ago. I was in therapy. My therapist was showing me where I was not making my needs known. That is where I began my journey of boundary setting. It wasn’t without flaw. It was a journey of highs and lows. Ebbs and flows. There were times I did not feel confident in setting a boundary, because I did not trust myself. I did not trust that the boundary was necessary. I did not trust that I would stick with the boundary. I defaulted on some boundaries as I went from a caterpillar to a butterfly.  I did not trust that my needs were important enough to tie a boundary to. Yea, boundary setting is big business. When you assess your needs, make it known what they are, and you stand firmly on every word you said, you bless yourself. You trust you to meet your needs. You trust that you know what is best for you. Moreover, you show others that you are not the one. You are not the woman who can be treated any kind of way. You are not the woman who will run away from confronting what is necessary. You are a woman who is in her power.

Rule #3 Increase Your Value

The value you give yourself is a clear reflection of how much you value you. Now, let’s be clear, this is more than announcing yourself as high value. This is not about how much money you make, where you live, what you drive, how you dress. You know healing happens within and emanates without, right? So back to Rule #1, knowing who you are is a vast majority of how you value yourself. Girls, can I be honest? During my journey of healing, self-discovery, and self-love; I learned I did not value myself. I was so caught up in all my negative experiences. Constantly living them out. Creating scripts from pain. Suppressing shame. Sum that up. Where do you think my value lied? It wasn’t high. I can tell you that much. I did not value myself, my body, my womb, my intelligence, my wisdom, my intellect, my beauty, my love, my word, my femininity, my intuition and much more. I was lacking on value. It showed in what I allowed, what I accepted, what I was around, what boundaries I did not set (Rule #2) and how I spoke to myself. My value was a product of how I lived my life. That isn’t my story anymore. My value is astronomically high these days. One way I increased my value was by surrendering my life to God. After surrendering my life to God, I had to do the internal work to see me in the image God showed me of myself. Chile, that was a whole other journey. A woman whose value is high, is a powerful woman. Whether she is in the projects or a penthouse suite. A Geo Metro or a G Wagon. Eating five star or Friday’s. She knows who she is. This comes from within. The externals are extra.

Rule #4 You Surrender

Now I know some of you may be confused. Surrendering?? Isn’t surrendering for the weak? Absolutely not, sis. Especially when you are surrendering to what will take you higher, take the weight off, ease your life, give you guidance. I know most, if not all the girlies reading this, have had some struggle with surrendering at some point in your life. You know what’s right for you. You’ve had to do it all on your own. There’s a struggle with you trusting people. You don’t feel safe in your body, so surrendering to anyone else doesn’t feel safe. You don’t know how to let go of the wheel. Although survival is a struggle, it’s all you know. If you surrender, your life will change, and you don’t know what is on the other side of change. I get it, girl. I understand you. I was once you.  My thoughts, “I am strong. Surrender for what?” Sis, there is strength in surrendering. Clearly, it isn’t an easy feat. So, it must take some strength. Right? A powerful woman is wise enough to know when to let go and let it be. Whether it is surrendering to a workout routine, a new and healthier way of eating, to therapy, opening to new friends, to a new life, your healing journey, or God. There is strength in surrendering.

Homegirls, after reading these four rules, where can you strengthen yourself to become a woman in her power?

If you are already living out each rule, continue to strengthen your power daily.

You have the rest of your life to live as a powerful woman.

Cheers to taking your power back, sis.

Signed,

Rachel K (Your homegirl in healing)