Your Feminine Essence Is Your Gift

Hey, homegirls

It was during my journey of healing when I was met with the realization that I was not in tune with myself or my feminine essence. I was living life from my experiences. I had become a product of the environments I frequented since birth. I was in survival, going and doing on auto pilot. I was disconnected from me. I was disconnected from my feminine essence.   

Prior to starting my healing journey, I had no clue what my feminine essence was. The women before me did not talk about it. And they did not show me with the way they lived their lives.  As a child, I knew I was a girl. As I grew into adulthood, I knew I was a woman. So, what was this feminine essence talk I was hearing about?

Before we get into discussing my return to my feminine essence, let’s break down the definition. Merriam-Webster defines feminine as “considered to be characteristic of women”. Merriam- Webster defines essence as “the individual, real or ultimate nature of a thing especially opposed to its existence.” Put it all together, what do you get? Feminine essence is a woman’s nature. It is intrinsic within us. It is our birthright.

However, if you are like me, you saw women who were bearing burdens, carrying heavy loads, holding it down on their own, tired, used up, spread thin, exhausted. Even if that wasn’t your view as a growing child, you see it now in your everyday. You may even see it within you. We live in a world we are constantly probed to hustle, grind, go get it, be hard, resilient, and endlessly strong. There not much space to discuss how we feel, what we need, to rest, lay down and just be. Is there anything wrong with going and getting it? Absolutely not. It is necessary at times that we set goals, accomplish, work, build and conquer. That’s how this world is set up. However, do not forget, before you entered this world you were given life. Your nature was already predetermined. Your environment nurtured you in a way that took you away from what is inherently yours. Your feminine essence.

Through years of therapy, healing, and a relationship I formed with God, I was able to start peeling away how was I nurtured, getting back to my true nature.

Here are four ways I returned to my feminine essence:

Resting- If you read my blog “I Tried Resting. Let’s Discuss My Experience”, you know my journey to rest has not been easy. It took time, redirection, reframing, grace, and God. Yes, it was that serious. My body was not trying to rest. My mind was used to racing. However, my soul said, “enough is enough”. I had to condition myself to believe resting was not a crime. I would affirm myself that resting did not mean I was lazy. Homegirls, I had to work just to rest. When I got to my root, I realized, I held the belief that I was not worthy of rest. I held a belief that my worth was a measurement of my work. What I output in every capacity of my life, from my career to being a mother, to my gym routine was a measure of my worth. If I wasn’t working and achieving highly, I was not worthy. Now, I rest with joy. I love to rest. Last night, I was on the phone with one of my sisters as I was resting. We laughed and talked about how much we love to rest. It is fun to us now. An enjoyable experience. However, that wasn’t always the case. We had to do the work to return to our roots.  

Creativity- This one I will be exploring and diving into more, as soon I walk across the stage next month and release myself from Graduate School. Exploring our creativity is beautiful, fun, and freeing. I have always loved creating DIY’s (do it yourself) projects. However, with work, being a single mom, my routine and my daughter’s routine and activities, there was not much time. Even if I could have made time, I didn’t know about balance pre-healing. On auto pilot is where I lived. In 2021, I started creating floral arrangements. I dedicated time in my schedule to go buy real and faux flowers. I would make floral wreaths and beautiful arrangements. I was being creative with no pressure. Also, I started creating through Heal Thy Homegirl. As I write this blog, I am creating. Homegirls, how can you dedicate time to being creative? Create from a place of freedom. Do not do it for money or place a timer on it. Just flow through your creative process, creating just because.

Flow- This is one I work on every day. I am still slowing myself down and taking it easy. I noticed as I started healing, I do things fast or without paying deep attention. For instance, I have been intentional about giving myself more time to get dressed and ready. This includes, bathing, hair, make up, mirror time, all inclusive of what it takes to prepare before leaving the house. Gone are the days of getting dressed quickly, taking a glance in the mirror, and going on my way. I need time with me, to prepare for where I am flowing to next. I need to slow down and be intentional about inviting in ease. I am working on talking slower and walking slower. Overall, being more mindful about myself and how I am moving. Life has not been easy for me. There is also anxiety. So, I must be intentional about moving slowly. When I slow down, I am in my flow.

 Support- This has been a serious life changer. When my heart was hardened, I struggled with trust, abandonment, lack of security, fear, doubt, worry, so many things that kept me from being fully vulnerable so I could be supported. When faced with negative triggers, I would isolate, hiding from my needs, myself, and my support. I would not open and surrender to making my needs known. Now, I am so supported. Baby, the support net is super strong. I have support in every corner of my life. They show up and support me in different ways. Most importantly, I allow them in. I am covered. I also allow myself to be supported by God. I wasn’t always a believer of God. I questioned God until I went to God and started talking, asking to be guided and for things to be revealed. Between my relationship with God and the people who support me, I am lifted, I am safe, I am covered. If you are reading this and you are a part of my support system, thank you and I love you.

Well, homegirls, of course I could go on and on about connecting to our feminine essence. I’ll leave you with the four listed to get started.

Remember, your feminine essence is within you, so you will have to go within and do the work to reconnect.

Until next time🤍

Signed,

Rachel K (Your homegirl in healing)