Bye, Girl.

Let’s prepare ourselves for the woman we are bringing in, by exiting, releasing, and dismissing what does not benefit her. 

Over the last five years, I have walked away from people, places and things that were not a match for me anymore. What I’ve gained is in alignment with the woman I have grown into. Homegirls, please understand the necessity in parting ways with what does not resonate with you anymore. If you cannot leave what is no longer for you, you are sending a clear signal to your inner God and the universe that you are not ready for what is to come. Without any further ado, let’s get into four tips for saying goodbye on your journey of blossoming into your next level woman. 

The Call 

Ok, so you want a new life. You get the call—a pull to go in a new direction. It looks different than the path you are used to traversing. You are afraid. You are used to the faces, spaces, and places you’ve made ties with during your lifetime. You don’t know what awaits you on this new path. You know you want better, different, new, more, a change; however, you are stuck. You are stuck in resistance. You refuse to surrender. You don’t know how to release what no longer resonates with you, so you can receive the beautiful new beginning, blessings and gifts that do. Allow, your homegirl in healing to help you. 

• Tip #1- Trust your intuition.
  Homegirl, your intuition is very intelligent. However, when you are not tuned into you and in sync with yourself, you may overlook the messages your intuition is gifting you. Needing to heal, not being able to understand your emotions and operating from a place of untrust for yourself can get in the way of you receiving guidance from your intuition. It can also confuse you, leading you to questioning yourself. “Is this just a feeling or should I roll with it?” “I don’t know whether to trust this feeling.” “I don’t trust myself; I need outward confirmation.”  Your intuition knows what you need. Your intuition is a guide on your journey. Trust your intuition. There is a reason you are feeling the pull. For added measure, if you know that person, place, or thing does not fit into your next chapter, trust that all your senses are working together for your good. Though leaving may not feel good, there are blessings gained and burdens released when we surrender to the call and say goodbye.

• Tip #2- Make it about you.
  Saying goodbye to people, places, and things YOU once resonated with, is about YOUR journey. It is about you leaving what once fit into your story. It is about you leaving who you were and blossoming into the woman you are becoming. Keep your focus on you. When you shift your focus to “they haven’t changed, they are still doing the same things, they need to grow”, you make your journey about them instead of keeping it about you. Your departing is not about their lack in change. Your departing is about your change. You are changing, sis. When life changes, it is necessary you adapt and evolve, so you are not in a cyclical pattern that will keep you stuck. Stuck knowing this does not do it for you anymore. Stuck breadcrumbing yourself. Stuck with a cup that isn’t being filled, because you refuse to say goodbye, allowing yourself to be nourished.
  Note: When you breadcrumb yourself, you will accept breadcrumbs. Starving yourself has become a norm. Are you ready to feed your appetite?

• Tip #3- Visualize and chat.
  When working with my clients, I encourage them to talk to themselves. Talk themselves through emotional overwhelm, talk themselves through negative thoughts, talk themselves down from destructive habits, talking themselves right into the life they want. Initially, they are thrown off, because “Why would I talk to myself?”. I understand their resistance, because they are not used to being with themselves, learning themselves, studying, pouring in, and giving to themselves. So, talking to themselves is weird. But girlies—-you need to talk to you. Ask yourself what needs you have. Ask yourself if that thing, person, or place is still necessary or is it a habit. Chat with you. While you are chatting, visualize the life you want. Ask yourself what you need to release and become to align with the woman who is living that life. You will be surprised when you realize it is necessary to relinquish the woman you are to blossom into the woman you want to become. A part of the relinquishing is relinquishing what has no place in your next chapter.

• Tip #4- Normalize and accept change.
  Change is not always easy to accept and adapt to. That does not negate the fact that change is inevitable. You will change. You have changed. Life changes. Things do not stay the same. Things need to change for growth and evolution to occur. While the facts are the facts, it would be helpful if you accept the feelings you have about change. When we are in resistance to our emotions or we have a rigid way of thinking, we stay stuck. We harbor those emotions, holding tight to thoughts that do not align with what is occurring. If you set out on a journey of healing, you signed off on your life changing. You will not be the same woman. If you are making way on your healing journey, you will notice frequent shifts in perspectives, belief systems being challenged, and a changed newer version of you downloading. Your world will indeed be transformed. However, when we are in resistance to change, we stay stuck. Stuck doing the things we know we are supposed to be growing away from, because we are not willing to say goodbye.

I always remind my clients; you have the right to change or stay the same. You can stay in this pattern, or you can break free and create new. It is up to you. If you decide to create new, you will need to start saying goodbye to what doesn’t align with the woman you want to become.

Are you ready?

Until next time

Signed,

Rachel K (Your homegirl in healing)