Slow and Steady, Sis.
Photo by Taryn Elliott
I used to live a fast life. Why? Because slow and chaos are like oil and water. They just don’t mix.
Fast forward five years through my healing journey—I have figured out the recipe. The recipe to living a slower life. Ladies, slowing down has so many benefits. Emotionally, you won’t be all wound up. Constantly living in a state of anxious and overwhelm. Mentally, you’ll have more clarity. Things get really confusing when we are rushing through life. Financially, you will make better decisions. You won’t be so quick to spend. Spiritually, you will have peace. When you are rushing through your day, your spirit doesn’t get a chance to rest. Physically, your body will not be on airplane mode, going and doing constantly. Sis, your body told me to tell you it isn’t a robot. Slow down and take more breaks.
When working with women on going from a life of survival to basking in thriving, there’s a clear consensus across the board. The girls are tired. They are drained. All they know is go. They want to slow down, but they don’t know how.
Can you relate?
Last week, I told someone, “You are rushing through life. On the run from you and your emotions.” If you aren’t new to Heal Thy Homegirl, you already know I advocate heavily, for healing on an emotional level. What if I told you at the root of all your rushing and running, evading, and escaping were unprocessed emotions. Emotions tethered to experiences, beliefs, narratives, thoughts, that you need to process and release.
If I am speaking to you, you’ll need to take a deep dive into you. For now, I will give you four tips for living a slower life. Without any further ado, let’s get into it:
Tip #1: While moisturizing, doing your skincare routine (We are taking care of our skin, right?), getting dressed, grooming, prepping and even pleasing yourself, move slowly. Take the time to bring your awareness to what you are doing. For instance, when you are moisturizing your body, feel your skin. How does your skin feel? How does it look? Is there a fragrance to the lotion, cream, oil, or butter you are using? How does it smell? How does it look on your skin as you slowly and sensually rub and caress it into your skin? Do you see how that is an entire experience. No more whipping out your moisturizer of choose, quickly slapping it on and aggressively rubbing it in. Take your time with yourself.
For added measure, look at yourself in the mirror while you’re moisturizing and say some sweet things to you in all your nakedness.
Tip #2: Slow down when you speak. This was tough for me, and it is something I must be conscious of throughout my day. Chile, that ADHD and anxiety had me speaking so quickly. Pause and take breaks to breath when you are speaking. Remind yourself, you are speaking not speeding. You do not have to race to get your thoughts out. Remind yourself to allow others to get a complete thought out and take a break before you start speaking. The silence may feel awkward. That’s cool, cause it’s necessary. You are training yourself to become a woman who is slow to speak. Think about what you are going to say before blurting it out. Is it necessary? Is it harmful or helpful? Does it add to or diminish? Doing this helps you to slow down when you speak. Doing therapy with my clients helped me tremendously with this. Imagine if your therapist was constantly cutting you off, saying what didn’t need to be said, monopolizing the conversation. Yikes!
Tip #3: Be considerate of the amount of time you give yourself to get ready to gift your presence to others. Do this by paying attention to yourself when you are getting dressed. Look, on a regular day, with only applying mascara and filling in my brows, I need two hours. I had to be considerate of the entire experience. Remember, we aren’t just pulling out something to wear, hopping in the shower and throwing on clothes. We are preparing our presence to be gifted to others. Your experience includes the time you take before bathing up to your last look over in the mirror. Yes, your last look over. I hope you are spending time in the mirror admiring your presence throughout your experience. After bathing and moisturizing, it’s a must I take about ten minutes to lay down recoup and relax before I start on the next phase of my experience. That needs to be accounted for in my time given. When you rush to get ready, you run the risk of looking rushed. Rushing is risky. Let’s be risk adverse and take our time. Make sure you are giving yourself the time you need.
Tip #4: Integrate your senses. That’s what you have them for. Use them intentionally. This tip really ties in the other three tips. You have five senses—sight, touch, smell, hear and taste. How often do you incorporate them into your day intentionally. For example, you go for a walk outside. How much do you remember about your walk outside? Did you spend time taking in the scenery around you? Nature, the different cars, the houses, stores, people? Instead of just walking, look at the clouds and the colors of them, the density of each cloud—what can you envision the cloud to be. When I was a little girl, before life got hectic and I was thrown into survival and chaos, I would sit on my swing set and look up at the clouds creating different pictures. Maybe a cloud looked like a boot, a heart, a guitar. I took the time to be in the moment and take in what was around me. I was not rushing. Do this with all your senses. When you eat, are you able to pick up on any ingredients as you slowly chew your food, instead of eating quickly like you just came home from prison. You know the saying “Stop and smell the roses”? Do that more often. Slow down so you can take in life around you.
Homegirls, a sensual woman is in tune with her senses. I can write an entire blog on being a sensual woman. Sensuality comes from being in tune with your senses, in touch with yourself, engaged in your experiences. Remind yourself to slow down and engage your senses in all you do. Out of your head and into your body. Your body is where you feel, and you’re grounded. Your head is where you figure things out. Your head is where you stay if you want to bring on anxiety.
Take a deep and slow breath. Feel your energy as it drops down into your body. Do this practice as often as necessary. You must train yourself to be a woman in her body, engaged with her senses.
See you in the next blog, girlies. If you are on my email list, we will link up this week.
Until next time
Signed,
Rachel K (Your homegirl in healing)
